Jackson: So I have to get less than 101 Christmas presents?

Me: Uh, yeah, a lot less than that.

Jackson: 50?

Me: Less.

Jackson: 30?

Me: Less.

Jackson: 40?

Me: What planet do you live on?

Jackson: Planet Awesome.

Vera Wang. Barbie. Must. Have.

My left eye is twitching, the vein is bulging out of my neck circa Roland K. Smith 1988, I’m saying ridiculous things at the top of my lungs like “ARE YOU SERIOUS? 5 + 5 IS 66? ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS?  What could this possibly mean? Yeah, Jackson and I are doing homework.  First grade homework.

Today I suggested that this has all come down to some kind of nefarious baby swap.  Somewhere in the Phoenix Valley some family has a doe eyed blondie that is begging to do tomorrow’s homework today because they just can’t get enough.  Somewhere in this world someone has my kid and they don’t have to invest in an automatic defibrilator just to make it through elementary school homework. That has to be the case because this isn’t me.

Or….my alternate theory could be true.  Everyone who dares to have kids will be treated to something equal or greater to what they dished out to their parents.  It’s called karma baby.  Guess what that would mean if I just reproduced Mary style?  That means the worst thing my kid would ever do is show up 15 minutes late for curfew crying and begging for more punishment.  But when you shack up with the guy who skipped school for the first time at the ripe age of 6 because the video games at the convenience store were far more attractive than walking to KINDERGARTEN you’ve got problems.  GAH! Mr. Jaelene Nation you will pay for this!!!!

Naturally when I suggested to Jackson that baby swap had occured he looked at me, laughed and said “Yeah right! I’m all yours!!”  Sigh.  Not induced to do good by heaps of guilt? My powers really are useless against him.  I have resorted to letting him eat one mini Pringle for every block of homework he finishes.  It’s like Shamu at SeaWorld.  Jump over this hoop and we’ll give you some fish.  Colten likes that Shamu thing and unfortunately for Jackson, it’s a name that might stick.  This reminds of a trip we took to SeaWorld a few years back and the other “adult” I was with cried at the relationship between trainer and animal - it was so precious, so beautiful.  Not so much with Shamu Samsal. Not so much.

P.S. - Guess what regulars?  In my Four Month Long Pity Party this past Summer I completely forgot that my “Bonus Jaelene Material” page existed. Lame, right?  We’ll now that I’ve recalled that tidbit I’m back to updating and slowly crawling my way back to Total and Complete Awesomeness.  Cheers!

With little fanfare, with no pomp and circumstance the calendar rolled over to November.  And that means that approximately 85% of the decisions I make are based on either Thanksgiving or Christmas.  It’s fun really…to become completely obsessed with ensuring the holiday is so completely perfect that NOTHING can top it. Until next year when I become completely obsessed with topping the previous year.

This year Thanksgiving is at my house and at last count we have 19 people eating (including my brood).  This number is sure to increase as the day approaches.  Right now I’m working through the most important part - the table.  Once I decide on a theme for the table I can get working on placecards, the menu, the centerpieces, etc.  I’ve already read the Martha Stewart Holiday magazine front to back three times and have some good ideas.

The menu for Thanksgiving is easy - typical menu but always add one new dish.  This year it will revolve around sweet potatoes more than likely.

Christmas feels like it is around the corner.  In a first - seriously a first - I’ve already worked through about 6 people on my list.  Granted I don’t have everything for those 6 people but I’ve started the ordering and I have everything picked out.  That’s MAJAH for a girl like me.  My goal is to not be caught off guard this year. 

After Christmas? We are going to be having either a New Years party or an inaguaration bbq - we’ll put it out for a vote to our friends to determine which they would prefer.  Either way, I’ll be sure to obsess over it.  If people don’t leave saying it’s the best EVAH than I have failed! Party on Wayne!

Last night I made Jackson & Colten watch some election coverage with me - I was anticipating the historical moment that was approaching and wanted them to witness it.  In the midst of CNN technology bonanza someone said something to the affect that Obama would be the first African American president.  This statement lead to this conversation:

Jackson: Barack Obama is black?

Me: (dumbfounded gaze) Ummmm, yes.

Jackson: Well his profile in Time for Kids didn’t say that. I didn’t know that.

Me: Well….(think fast! what do I say????) When you look at John McCain and Barack Obama standing next to each other didn’t you notice that one of them was white and one of them was black?

Jackson: No, not really. I didn’t know that.

This conversation was so many things in one.  It’s funny and childlike and also mind boggling.  It is beyond my comprehension that he doesn’t know that.  Now realistically, he surely realizes they look different but he sees their difference appearance in color as something inconsequential.  As if it’s one of them is tall and one of them is short.  He sees them as he should, two men running for president.

This election season has been personal for me.  I have emotionally invested myself in it for many different reasons and Mr. Jaelene Nation and I have discussed it endlessly.  My longest and one of my dearest friends is gay.  We have a good friend that is Muslim.  My kids go to school with children who are being raised by gay parents. My kids go to school with kids who were born here but their parents are here illegally.  We have had to explain to them why our purported leaders speak of our dear friends in terms of their labels and associate them with fear and anger.  The landscape my children live in is diverse and broad.  It is my responsibility to raise them to be Christ like in their love and tolerance for every single person that crosses their path.  This responsibility means that we also need to explain to them why people spreading hate and intolerance sometimes invoke The Lords name in doing so.  That one is not so easy.

But last night, I had something I could tell them.   I could proudly tell my children that this time fear and anger did not prevail.  The person that came out ahead has a message of hope and tolerance.  The person that came out ahead is asking us to lay down our verbal swords and find common ground.

Do I think our problems will be solved overnight? No.  I am nervous and anxious about the times ahead. But I am hopeful for the first time in a very, very long time.  I am hopeful that we are entering a period of time where we can respect that maybe this isn’t something you prayed for but someone else did.  Maybe we are entering a time where people will respect the Fourth and Fourteenth amendments as they invoke the First and Second with every breath.  Maybe we are entering a time where our leaders will allow differing opinions to be heard before decisions are made.  Maybe we are entering a time where the democracy we cherish will be introduced to other nations not because of our bombs but because of our example, support, encouragement and leadership.

That is the hope and wish I expressed to my kids last night and it’s our responsibility, regardless of whether their is an R or a D in our brains and hearts to work as hard as we can to make this a more perfect union.

Dude……CNN has hologram people and buildings Star Wars style in their election coverage. So cool

Happy Belated Halloween!  This year we decided to celebrate Halloween at Disneyland - so awesome!  We scored tickets to the Mickey Mouse trick or treat party for Halloween night which was so lucky.  Due to a small little thing called THE ECONOMY and a small thing called HAVING TOO MANY KIDS we decided to drive instead of fly which turned out to be an epically bad decision.  Luckily for me at the last minute on Thursday I decided to rent a mini-van instead of driving my car.  So Friday really, really early I woke up the kids (plus Colten’s friend) loaded them up in my fancy Dodge Caravan and headed West while my girlfriend and her daughter slept in and drove to the airport and beat us there by like 30 minutes thanks to some crafty driving in a five freeway interchange that took me an extra 30 minutes to navigate.  That happens when you have to do 35 u-turns.  Welcome to California driving!

All that doesn’t matter though because we got to Disneyland and headed straight for our favorite Halloween ride….the Haunted Mansion Jack the Pumpkin King Style:

Love it!  So we played all day Friday, trick or treated Friday night, and then we had Saturday.  Jackson didn’t feel well and what I thought was just an upset tummy due to candy turned into an all day running to the bathroom marathon.  Jackson and I sat most of the day out at our hotel and around 5 in the afternoon we started the very long drive home.

What was a six hour drive on Friday ended up being an 8.5 hour drive on Saturday.  And not because Jackson wasn’t feeling well.  After he threw up 3 times at the beginning of the drive he was lights out gone for the trip.  Let’s just say Colten and I had an interesting journey home.  And for those of you that I spoke to while I was driving home, the events that occurred after we stopped talking were far worse than the events that happened before we spoke - including the throwing up on the monorail.   I’ll spare you the details so that I can spare Colten some dignity and myself some sanity.  Really at this point all I can say is this: The Smartest Thing I Did All Week Last Week Was Rent a Car.  And I feel bad for the guy who has to clean it.

So the kids had a great time, best Halloween ever in their eyes.  I will hold on to that as my reward for the journey I have just been on because if you can’t actually ride Space Mountain after you pay a load of money to be able to you might as well take pleasure in other people having fun on Space Mountain because you paid a load of money for them to.  

And for your viewing pleasure I some pics up in a my album.  I will also load some pics onto my Flickr stream later after I decompress some more.  Viva la Disneyland!

On Saturday night Scott & I went out to celebrate the birthday of two of my girlfriends.  We went to a bar. On karoake night.  Unless you were there you will never know if I sang.  I guess you could ask Mr. Jaelene Nation but I doubt he’d own up to the truth.

For one reason or another whenever I hang out with Girlfriend #1 we end up like this:

Yeah, we have moustaches drawn on our fingers cuz we’re dorky like that.  Only this time someone had a Sharpie with them so I’m still working on getting it off my finger.  It’s all good though because having a moustache drawn on your finger allows you to do things like this:

And I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like to sneak a good moustached finger pose into the background of someone elses pictures.  We had a lot of fun.  Actually we were laughing so hard that I don’t feel the need to work out my abs for several years now.  That’s my chubby stomach excuse and I’m sticking to it folks.

Speaking of birthday’s - Colten had a big one while we were in Georgia y’all.

Double digits baby! Colten turned 10!! This seriously hampers my ability to lie about my age.  This was a deep topic of conversation at karaoke night and it was duly ruled that we would rather have people think I was pregnant at 15 than think I’m in my almost mid-30’s if that’s how old I really am.  Shallow? Yes. Okay that’s actually not true - that’s the moustache talking.  I’ll have to start telling people I had him at 17.  15 is far too young.

You know how people always say that dumb cliche saying “kids don’t come with user manuals!”? Clearly this is a true statement but have you ever really thought about that?  There’s a reason for that, other than just the logistics - we aren’t REALLY actually raising our kids.  They are growing up all by themselves - we’re just along to give advice, support, guidelines, etc. and you can’t follow “the rules” on that one - every kid is different.

Colten is the perfect example of that.  About this time last year Colten started begging us to send him to “sleep-away” camp.  He pushed and pushed us to find one, visit one, and get him signed up.  EVERYONE told me not to do it for various reasons - you can’t trust counselors, he’s too young, he won’t like it, the whole gammut.  No one really thought it was a good idea but he insisted.  He promised us that he’d be okay.  I had serious, serious doubts but we sent him.  And if you were here at any point during those 16 days I was a mess. I cried and I worried and I barely slept.  And then he came home in one piece and in many ways as a completely different person.

The changes in him since then are intangible if you don’t spend every day with him but they are there. This one, he’s smart.  And he knows himself.  In retrospect the only mistake I made during the camp time was listening to anyone other than him.  He was right - it was exactly what he needed.  He’s going to grow up with or without us and based on the first ten years I’d be foolish to wish for anything other than to be along for the ride - I have a lot to learn from him.

We are in the midst of a busy weekend! I’m headed out the door to a party and when I get back from that my purpose will be to pick Scott up so we can head out to a friends birthday party.  The birthday party promises to be the more fun of the two as I’m promised karaoke will be involved.  Yes!

I did manage to find some time this morning to pick some pictures from our trip to Georgia and post them in my album.  We spent a few quick days in Dalton Georgia for my brother’s wedding and had a great time.  All my pictures are in my Flickr stream and a select few are in an album here.

It was my first adult visit to the South and my only real impressions would be that everyone really does say “y’all” at every possible moment and being so close to Atlanta clearly means no one is allowed to sell Diet Pepsi in fountain form at any gas station.  To off-set those little snafu’s there was my beloved Chick-Fil-A everywhere we went and plenty of Waffle Houses much to Jackson’s delight.  But beyond all that, we got to hang out with tons of family, meet a lot of new and fun people, and participate in my brother’s wedding. Totally worth it, even without my Diet Pepsi to help me through.

We also celebrated Colten’s 10th birthday while we were gone.  I have one foot out the door right now so hopefully tomorrow will bring enough time to put up some pics from that and blog about that.

Cheers to Daryl & Laura!

We made it back home safely! I have so much to blog about, as I said in my previous post! It will take a couple of entries and some photos to completely cover all the territory but I have to take an aside first.

Today was so weird, I won’t say the strangest thing ever happened, but it was strange.   This year has been challenging….you probably know this since I think if you are here it’s because you already know me but I work in the residential construction industry.  So it’s been a long year.  Work has taken it’s toll and as we approach the end of the year I kind of see maybe, possibly, a light at the end of the tunnel however I can palpably feel the effects of the roller-coaster year.  I don’t know why that affects this story but it does.

Today started lame.  My kids were on break for 2 weeks, 2 days - went back to school for one day, then we left for my brothers wedding.  So essentially, by the time we rolled them out to school yesterday they’d been out for more than 3 weeks save that one day. So the morning was hectic.  I don’t remember how to pack back packs, that kind of thing.  My outfit, as it turned out, sucked.  I have this blue skirt, it’s visually so cute but it has these really serious pleats.  They are so serious, these pleats, that whenever I stand up from sitting down the pleats have to be adjusted so that I don’t look like I’m 15 pounds heavier than I am. It’s like the pleats turn inside out and make a balloon out of my rump.  That is not a good thing.  But I keep wearing the skirt because I’m a fashion marytr.  So it’s a lame day all day.

I pick the kids up and we have to go to the grocery store because we’ve been out of town and have no food.  That’s a lie.  We have a lot of food but nothing that actually combines for dinner.  We go to the store and it’s remarkable in the sense that no one is fighting or asking for stuff.  Sometimes it’s like the kids have a sense that maybe I’m off a little so they shouldn’t push the normal limits of my patience.  So we’re walking up and down the aisles and we keep running into the same lady.  And she keeps hearing snippets of our life.  Things like “Yes, Jackson does fart a lot but that isn’t what they mean by green house gas” and “well you can love the walkie-talkie girl from Star Wars Clone Wars movie but you can’t date her Austin, she’s fake”.  Maybe she’s entertained by this, I don’t know.  Usually people are annoyed by us.  It’s me and 3 kids and they aren’t in the cart so they are probably in the way.  So I probably apologized to her even though the kids were being good. 

We get done and go to check-out and there is only one lane open. Naturally.  We get in line and we are behind her.  And I felt kind of sad about that because I felt like she had her fill of us.  So we unload our groceries and the kids are staring at the gum and candy as if they’ve never seen it before and when she’s all done checking out she turns to my kids and she turned kind of sharply so I thought something bad was coming my way but instead she told my kids how good they had been in the store and that she thought they were so kind and helpful. And then she gave them all a dollar bill to thank them for being good kids.

Things happened after that, I protested, she insisted, we thanked her, she left, the clerk and I discussed it, the kids were excited, etc.  

I wish I could see her again to just tell her that the simple little thing she did was the nicest thing she could’ve done.  It really changed my day.

So that’s the random thing that happened today.  Next post will 100% be about THE WEDDING.  Here’s a little snippet:

Don’t they look so lovey dovey??? I’m so happy for them, we had a great time and I’ve got pictures to prove it!

So tomorrow - maybe? I don’t know but until then….be nice to the person in line behind you at the grocery store - you never know what kind of change you might affect!